Jackie Healy Ray gets the beaut.ie Election Treatment

by Kirstie, May 14th, 2007 in Ask, and you shall receive |

jackie healy rae

Our election based efforts have not gone unnoticed over on irishelection,com, I am pleased to note. Blogger Maman Poulet highlighted our post about Greeenennn candidate Paul Gogarty, and wondered if we’d be giving Jackie Healy-Rae the beaut.ie treatment next? Her wish is our command, and it’s particularly salient today, as we’ve just spent the weekend in Kerry and got a grand auld look at his fetching campaign posters.

She wondered what hints, tips and product recommendations we’d have for Mr Healy-Rae and to be honest, my initial thoughts were ‘paper bag over head with eye holes cut out’, but I soldiered on. I don’t like to let anyone down.

Lets tackle that ravaged skin first, shall we? Moisturiser should be item #1 on Jackie’s beauty shopping list. A fine dose of that every morning and night and those mountainous peaks and troughs round his eyes will smooth out only lovely. He’s showing rather more than the requisite seven signs of aging too, I reckon, so Olay Regenerist might not be industrial strength enough – but sure, it’s worth a try. Isn’t it? Hmm?

And as Maman Poulet so wisely pointed out, there does seem to be some signs of rosacea there too, so we’d recommend he get himself to his nearest La Roche Posay stockist for supplies, pronto.

Finally, those brows need a serious trim and all that gabbing he does means his lips must be dryer and more cracked than the Sahara in August. So while you’re in the chemist, Jackie, grab a Chapstick too. All those babies you have to kiss will thank you for it.

5 Responses to “Jackie Healy Ray gets the beaut.ie Election Treatment”

  • prudence says:

    Well done Kirstie, I’m sure Jackie’s beauty treatments will win him many more votes down there in the Kingdom!

    And has anybody seen Fine Gael’s double poster for Durkan and Scully in North Kildare – surely this is an ironic gesture toward the mystery and Xfile-ish postmodernism of Fine Gael? Well done Bernard!!

  • Aphrodite says:

    and maybe some face scrub could be added to the list of beauty essentials for Jackie? There must be years of dead skin blocking up those pores. Now hands up, which therapist would like to do the deep cleansing facial with extractions!!

  • Witch says:

    Im from Kerry and I must admit to a secret passion for Jackie Healy-Rae. I think it is the thick bogger accent, the greasy cap and the gnarled hands. Sends a shiver down my spine!! (NOT)

  • Maman Poulet says:

    Ah Kirstie…thanks so much! Perfect stuff! Now if only the instigator of these posts could follow some of advice. I’m definitely going to have to sort something out to survive the day of the count!

  • [...] Many thanks to the women in Beaut.ie for their advice (free!) to Jackie Healy-Rae. Thomas Byrne (FF – Meath East) is giving a shout out to the troops – no sign that there is any weariness out on the canvass Thomas is there? [...]

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