Kate Moss in not eating shock!

Friday, November 20th, 2009

When Kate Moss said “nothing tastes better than being skinny” who was honestly surprised.

I always assumed she existed on a diet of fags, champagne and white powder anyway.  Never ever has she extolled the virtues of healthy eating.  Her diets don´t appear in magazines extolling the virtues of endame beans and lettuce.  We are never invited to look inside her fridge.

She´s a model.  A very successful model.  And she eats virtually nothing - because if she gained weight she wouldn´t have a job.  And obviously she loves being a skinny minnie.

Now I know the talking heads are already venting outrage about the fact that La Moss is not a good role model to young girls etc.  But what do you think about Kate´s “revelation”?

Baby like to rock and roller: Imelda May

Monday, November 16th, 2009

imelda-may

Imelda May, I’m so liking your roackbilly-insired look. It’s such a relief to see a new diva who’s not smothering herself in fake tan and Lipsy dresses. Not that there’s anything wrong with either of these you understand, but variety is the very spice of life.

What do you think - are you liking this look?

Rachel’s X Factor look: a case study of the importance of makeup

Friday, November 13th, 2009

rachel

The only time they let Rachel look nice on X Factor

Now that Rachel has been booted off the X Factor let us look back over her sad few weeks with us. And let us consider one thing especially: her makeup.

Her makeup was horrendous. A pretty girl, she was disfigured with the amount of Eighties slap that was plastered on every Saturday night.  It was a masterclass in how not to do it - or overdo it.  Her hair was pretty bad too. It couldn’t decide if it was Grace Jones or …

Wouldn’t you know she was Dannii’s creation? Dannii famously gets it wrong with her acts every year and this year she’s turning Stacey into Leona Lewis and thought she’d have a go at making Rachel an 80s icon.

Then she changed her mind once Rachel kept landing in the bottom two and decided to turn her into Stacey. Spluttering and thanking and rejoicing even though she hadn’t achieved anything - Rachel’s attempt to make the audience like her by apeing Stacey was just cringemaking.

Do you think it was the makeup that alienated people from Rachel? I honestly think it didn’t help.

There’s Something About John and Edward

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

jedward

“I’m John and he’s Edward. Together we are … John and Edward.”

Eh. Sorry jung’flas, Jedward is really a much better moniker and even though X Factor almost totally passes me by, I couldn’t help but channel my inner Carrie Bradshaw and wonder how the frig the Lucan lads get their barnets so spectacularly bouffed.

And they’re getting bigger by the week: growing to herculean hirsute heights, you could say. So I also couldn’t help but wonder how the backstage team do it. Is it gel? Is it wax? Hairspray, maybe? Sugar and water? Egg whites?

Or, shudder, is it perchance, creme de Jedward? You know what I’m getting at: you’ve seen Something About Mary. Does anything else have the same holding power? Ah well, at least it’s Beaut.ienomical, eh?

Barbie and her fat ankles: Christian Louboutin’s searing comment

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

louboutin-barbie-shoes
When Christian Louboutin said Barbie had fat ankles all hell broke loose.

In the process of designing shoes for the new Barbie Doll Lauboutin commented unfavourably about her ankle proportions. He quickly denied it, but it was too late. A matter of such seriousness cannot be simply swept under the carpet.

Feminists were outraged. Barbie fans were outraged. Tubby people were outraged. Skinnies were outraged. In short the world found the pronouncement outrageous.

Barbie is no stranger to size battles. For years the plastic one has been subject to an inferno of debate about how her blonde and skinny proportions are unrealistic and place unfair expectations on women at their most vulnerable age.

But is it all just a storm in a shoebox?

Expense: the new fragrance by J.O.D. For the grasping black caricature of the man that I am

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

jod expense

It’s the new fragrance from J.O.D - Expense. Formulated exclusively to bring out his dark side it inventively uses the tagline: For the grasping black caricature of the man that I am

The very atmosphere of Irish Politics today evoked in its alluring fragrance. Top notes of corruption settle down with lingering traces of greed and leaves a strong scent of entitlement hanging in the air

It’s what every splutteringly indignant red faced minister will be wearing this season to cope with trial by soundbite.

Leave your office with your head held high. Do it with Expense.

Reasonably priced at €100k. Just charge it to the taxpayer. Created by @UnaRocks

Anna Wintour, Pixie and Alexa: who looked more of an Eejit?

Friday, October 9th, 2009

anna-wintour-pixie-alexa

It was a classic picture.  Two sets of fashionistas meet one another - albeit with a generation between them - and to say they didn’t get on is putting it mildly.  Worlds collided during London Fashion Week, and the results are hilarious.

Anna Wintour inspired the Meryl Streep character in the Devil Wears Prada.  In other words she’s not exactly a warm friendly person.  Nasty cow might be a good term.  Obviously she’s obsessed with fashion and the catwalk shows are like a spiritual event for her.

So imagine her disgust when she was seated beside Pixie Geldof and Alexa Chung during a London Fashion Week show.  She made no attempt to hide her dislike - look at that body language.  Meanwhile Alexa and Pixie thought it was fine to behave like a pair of prize tits, giggling, talking and - cringemakingly - hugging one another.

It was a disaster waiting to happen.  But could Anna Wintour ever lighten up and remove the umbrella it looks like someone stuck up her ass?  Or should Alexa and Pixie cop on and stop behaving like spoilt brats?

I think both.  But over to you to decide!

Brilliant Burgundies: Just Don’t Do Them Like Mischa Barton. Or a Zombie

Friday, October 9th, 2009

burgundies

This year, eh, much like every year, dark lips are back in for autumn/winter. Sometimes I really despair at the lack of imagination on the part of beauty brands but sure at least I know what I’ll be writing about come September, so thanks for that, lads.

Deep, dark plums and burgundies are the shade du jour this time round and there are some really nice ones on counter: YSL have launched a new Rouge Volupte in shade 22. It’s a creamy, satin-finished burgundy with a bit of brown and looks and feels good on. I just love these lipsticks, they’re absolutely excellent. Dior’s Addict Lip Colour in Decadent Plum is €28 and is a little more violet-toned than YSL’s offering - ooh and it has some sparkle and a hint of a tint of iridiscence. Yum  - it’s very pretty and definitely my pick of the four.

On the cheaper end of things is Revlon’s Black Cherry, which is under €10 and gives a great result for the price. But not everyone likes really dark shades and in that case, check out Clinique’s Almost Lipstick in Black Honey, €19. It delivers a sheer finish with a much lighter result, so much easier to wear.

Lastly - eh, how do you rock this look?

Not like Mischa Barton, anyway. Dark lips need to be worn with a really groomed finish for them to look elegant and not emo.  Gorgeous and not goth - yeah, you see where I’m going with this. Mischa looks bedraggled and washed out, but the chick over there on the left looks good because her base is flawless and her hair is sleek. So, lets take a leaf from her book, eh?

Strictly’s Kristina Rihanoff Takes us Back to Beauty School

Thursday, October 8th, 2009

kristina

I for one would like to extend my thanks to Kristina for this edifying - and terrifying - lesson in how you definitely shouldn’t wear your makeup.

Fin.

Decisive Decisons: What Would Bill and Jackie Call Their Fragrances?

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009

apprentice

God I love The Apprentice.

Last  year I thought I loved it because it was so completely rubbish. But when the UK version started up again, I realised that actually, the Irish one is excellent product-placement, car-crashtastic TV. Bill’s inner city chippiness, Jackie’s Ice Queen persona and the general eejitry of the contestants makes this an essential Monday night fix for me.

We’re only three weeks in and the classic clangers are coming thick and fast: daddeee can’t buy yeh cop on in Triniteeee collidge; Rubix Cube/Cake/Cake/Rubix Cube/Rubix Cube confusion; Breffny being Son of Enda and Tie Cukeing Lessons are all convincibly fab.

But as we all know, things aren’t looking too hot in Renault land for Bill at the moment. Cash flow must be tight. This is why I think he and Jackie should launch a couple of His ‘n Hers fragrances, right in time for the Christmas market. After all, if Victoria and David can do it, why not Ireland’s premier entrepreneurs? Notes could include penny apples and Tie Cukery, with perhaps a soupcon of Moore Street.

There’s just one problem though - what to call them? Lets have at it in the comments!

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