What you bleedin' looking at? How to do your makeup on the bus

The emergency ensemble - perfect for the Dart


Pyjama horror
I'll set the scene: picture me in my pink owl-patterned pyjamas, not a lick of make-up on (okay, maybe don't picture that) and my hair in an Albert Einstein-esque state. Now picture my phone going off, notifying me that I have a half an hour to be twenty minutes from my house. The terror! Hollywood have missed a trick, not making horror films based on that scenario. They could get Micheal Bay in for some quality explosions when the wrath of the epilator collides with the fragile but determined leg.

With only ten minutes to get ready, minus the obligatory three to brush my teeth and one to pull on something resembling an outfit, I went for my tried and true method: do what you can while on the bus.

Ignore the dirty looks
It's very simple, mascara and foundation are done with slap-dash vigour and everything else is done during the hour bus journey that's usually just a waste of time. Aside from the right make-up, you're going to need the ability to ignore the snooty looks of your fellow passengers.

I've mentioned before that applying make-up in public has garnered me a plethora of filthy looks. Lads, what is your life if my putting on some lipstick is disturbing you? Go get a stress ball or something.

Anyway, provided you have the temperament needed to not launch yourself at those with staring problems, it's actually no hassle at all to make-yourself look very put together while in transit.

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Time-saving must-haves for the bus corridor

The new Maybelline colour tattoo along with Mac Paint Points have saved my skin on many hectic mornings. Because they are primers, you needn't do a single thing to your lid before you start splodging 'em on. On my last bus journey, I used my fingers to dot the golden Maybelline pot on the inner corner of my eye and then patted Rubenesque on the outer corner. I would offer a tutorial for this, but I wouldn't want to insult anybody's intelligence - it's easier to make this look gorgeous than it is to go window shopping and come home with several bags.

 

Nee naw nee naw - emergency makeup on the skin

I chuck a cream, gel or liquid blusher into my handbag; not only because I love the how they sit on the skin but because you don't need another applicator. Something like Benefit's Posietint can be used on the lips too, if you're not rich in handbag space. If you're running late because you've overslept, blush is a great one for perking up your complexion and hiding the fact that you stayed up until four pinning pictures of engagement rings to your Pinterest board.

YSL's gel blush in number three needs no applicator other than nature's forks and is very sheer; don't be worried about stepping off the bus looking like Bosco. Yep, it's pricey, €38 per tube, but slapping it on is fool-proof and, at the risk of sounding like a label-whore - it's Y-S-effing-L!

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Finally, lipstick is one of the quickest ways to make it look like you've made an effort. Crystal Baby by Estée Lauder is my first choice for a comfortable, natural and office-appropriate look. Your bus could be bouncing around on the back-roads and it'd still be very hard to make a mistake with this.

Have you got any tips for getting dolled up in just minutes? I need them. Unless you're a prospective employer or anything, in which case, I'm always up on time and punctuality is actually a hobby of mine.

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