Rihanna told: “get off my land you dirty girl”. Ireland is morto. Mortoooooo

By Aisling | 28 September, 2011 | 208 Comments | Edit

rihanna in northern Ireland

What fecking century are we living in?  Are we living in the Fifteenth Century when the sight of a woman’s arm was liable to cause men to faint with desire?  Or even the Victorian era when the sight of a well-turned ankle was enough to cause a stirring in the male trouser?

In a world where women are not ashamed of their bodies and Rihanna is hailed as a goddess by right thinking people everywhere, we must ask ourselves these questions:


Well they obviously are to one male member of the DUP in Bangor, who had given permission to Rihanna and her crew to film a vid in his field.  But the second that Rihanna removed the blouse decorously covering her disgusting lady bumps, the farmer Massey Fergussoned into action and ordered her orf his land.

He’d never seen the like, he told Morning Ireland.  At length.  Indecent, he decided.  And backed up his decision by lecturing Rihanna on the need to find God in a tired, world weary way.

The sanctimonious old fart.

Before I’d seen the images of Rihanna in the field (dressed in an almost chaste brassiere) I thought she must have been having full-on sex in the meadow and shooting a porn film or something.  But no.  All she was doing was WALKING AROUND WITH (here’s the kicker) HER SHIRT OPEN.

So I’d like to apologise to you Rihanna.  On behalf of Ireland.

UPDATE: so Rhianna was actually TOPLESS in the field at one stage.  Er, so what?  I’m still covered in shame

Image via the BBC website (yes the shame made the international news.)

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Rihanna told: “get off my land you dirty girl”. Ireland is morto. Mortoooooo

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