Lots of us watched the Rose of Tralee last night, many of us from behind cushions. Yes, the hashtag of ROT was somewhat unlucky but what we all really wanted to see even more than the lovely bottoms, were the gúnas that housed the lovely bottoms.
There were a lot of empire lines going on. And side buns. And intricate curly up-dos.
And some of you may have wondered about what you would wear if it was you up on that stage, listening to Daithí asking you if you were afraid of cats (yes, that happened).
But not I. No, I have another dress predicament that has been on my mind for quite a long time: What will I wear if I am ever a contestant on Winning Streak?
Now, you might laugh but this is incredibly likely to happen because Ireland is a small place and I buy a scratch card every second day. After much consideration, I eventually drafted this list of important factors to consider when planning your Winning Streak outfit.
- Practicality
The attire you grace the country with the privilege of admiring must be breathable. The studio lights tend to get very hot so you want to avoid unsightly sweat patches. I recommend a light cotton/polyester blend (approximately 40/60). The material also needs to have a bit of give in it because you will be up and down out of that recently re-upholstered seat like a yo-yo.
And you don't want to be restricted with movement, so this means, difficult as it is, absolutely no leather or skintight fabrics. If you are lucky enough to get to spin the wheel, your arm needs to have the strength of The Rock but the speed of Paula Radcliffe desperately needing the toilet mid-race. So for these reasons I would recommend a tracksuit as an outfit option. You can compensate for the casual nature of the tracksuit by adding as many hair accessories as possible and going very heavy on the make up.
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- Age-Appropriate
It's no secret that the average age of the Winning Streak contestants is 102, so you need to set yourself apart from the others. This is, in all likelihood, your television debut, so you want to make a killer impression.
Show how trendy and fashion-forward you are by wearing something that hasn't hit Irish shores yet. That's right, a trip to London is on the cards! The week before your Winning Streak appearance will undoubtedly be busy with well-wishers and gold-diggers appearing at the house, but you've more important things to be worrying about. Book a last-minute trip to London (you can afford it, you're about to be stinking rich). Hire a personal stylist and hit the most fancy and expensive clothes shops you can find.
Now ensure that you purchase something repulsively current. That way everyone will be able to credit you with bringing the trend to Ireland. You'll be rich and the queen of fashion: a modern-day Twiggy.
- Colour Coordination
The colour you choose for your Winning Streak outfit is vital. I recommend wearing colours such as pink, orange and bright yellow. This way you should fit in nicely with the gaudy set decoration, as well as matching most of the balls in the machines.
And if you really want to make an impression, match your outfit with the colourful signs your friends and family hold up in the audience. The subtle nature of this coordination will work in your favour and ultimately rig the game so you end up taking home the unnecessarily large car, holiday to Fuerteventura and set of fully-extendable garden hoses.
For the ultimate matching outfit, I recommend not double, not triple, but quadruple denim: jeans, jacket, blouse and cap. Take that for style, Marty.
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If you can think of any tips for Winning Streak or Rose of Tralee contestants when it comes to choosing their outfits, please share them below - we'd love to hear your thoughts!
