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Dating Dealbreakers: What Are Your Ultimate TurnOffs?

By Doireann | September 13 2013 | 70 Comments

There has been an absolutely stellar Craigslist personal ad doing the rounds on the interwebs recently. It was written by an almost unbelievably preachy and narcissistic man who’s looking for love, but not just any love; love with a VERY precise type of woman.

ME = A very nice, mature , “gentleman.” with a higher college degree and education. I have my own house (not apartment), car, income, etc. I am of Middle-Eastern descent (Iranian/Persian). A professional man with a GOOD BACKGROUND. Better than 99% of what you will find, GUARANTEE #1.

YOU = Good girl for friendship and romance. You would be treated very well and nobody will treat you better (GUARANTEE #2). HOWEVER IN ORDER FOR THIS TO HAPPEN . . .YOU HAVE TO BE. . . “Worthy,” “Deserving” and “Reciprocate.”

I have no idea how I should interpret those inverted commas. But it made me wonder – what bat-shit criteria do I subconsciously apply to determine whether men are worthy and deserving?

online-dating

This absolute prince among men lists having children and being over 27 as his deal breakers, before launching into a 28 item FAQ including some complete gems:

Asking questions is fine but “arguing” is NOT attractive. You have a right to disagree BUT if your intention is to “argue,” just do us both a favor and don’t contact me at all. Men, in general, are TURNED-OFF by aggressive or argumentative woman BECAUSE it is characteristic of a traditional “masculine” person and NOT someone feminine. Have you heard of the “Bitch” stereotype? That’s what I mean. When men date the opposite sex they don’t want to feel they are with another man but with a female. If this is your style, please DO NOT contact me because we won’t get along.

This “gentleman” is very VERY clear on what he’s into. He’s also willing to lay it all out there for the world to see, which is erm… very proactive. But I worry when we set these specifications we cut ourselves off from a huge portion of the population.

For those of us without the time and inclination to figure all this out in the form of an epic Craigslist ad, what are the real deal breakers? What traits would entirely put you off another human being?

  • I canvassed my nearest and dearest to ask what stringent criteria they apply to potential partners.
  • The best answers I got were the weirdest most arbitrary things; I have a friend who says she’d never be attracted to a guy who wore sunglasses on that basis that ‘They’re for twats”. Hmmm!
  • Another friend told me a woman had to be able to start a fire to be considered. Innnteresting!
  • Some women say ‘beards’ are their ultimate turn off; guys frequently say ‘fake tan’ or ‘too much makeup’. I think we all secretly have height and age restrictions, don’t we? Almost everyone I asked had something to say on the topic.
  • But I always find when I meet someone and start to fall for them, my list goes out the window. You really can’t control the people you find attractive.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to email a certain “gentleman”.

So do you have any specific deal breakers? And do you think it’s gonna work out with me and this guy!?

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