Comments on: Workplace bullying: the politics of the playground hurt as much when you’re an adult

By: leroy Mckane

leroy Mckane — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 19:17:56 +0000

It might just be because I live in a very sheltered part of the state but I never experienced these sort of horrible bullyings. If i were to see this happening I hope I will muster up the courage to stand up for what is right.

By: Murph

Murph — Tue, 06 Nov 2012 22:18:26 +0000

Ann, you’re a trooper and a legend. Hopefully things will start to improve.

By: Shygirl

Shygirl — Tue, 06 Nov 2012 15:54:57 +0000

Well done Ann hope it goes well xxx

By: Ann

Ann — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 22:18:50 +0000

Hi Kat. Thanks for that reply. I really really appreciate it. It’s so comforting to know that there are still some human decent people left in the world. First opportunity I get I’m out of there but that could take a while. I will look at that website and thanks for the offer of emailing. It’s a big help. Thanks Shygirl for the hugs and support. It means a great deal. Murph I’m really sorry this is happening to you. It does effect you. Some people are so cruel. I don’t know what I’m supposed to have done either… At the moment I’m being as positive as I can, getting myself the odd treat like a blow dry that makes me feel good during lunch. Sometimes I just go on a walk with the headphones in. I read affirmations to – inspiring ones which really can help. I have decided after a long time of tolerating this to take it further. It’s been a hard thing for me to have to do and I don’t know if I will get anywhere but I have to try. You guys are great. Thanks a million. What doesn’t break you makes you stronger hey?

By: Murph

Murph — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 20:49:12 +0000

I’m really glad this post was made. I’m going through something similar at work at the moment and it’s nice to see such solidarity here. My experience is definitely on the lower end of the scale; one girl at work is giving me trouble and spreading stories that I caused a conflict with her. I still don’t know what I’m supposed to have done, but I get the silent treatment, left out from social events, and anyone I’ve told at work has been reluctant to show support. I didn’t realise that this was bullying until I told the story to friends outside work, who were appalled. I’m not going to take it any further, but it’s helpful to know that there are people going through the same thing.

By: Shygirl

Shygirl — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 19:57:48 +0000

Ann, major hugs going your way. I’ve been there, Dolly is right, you are the bigger better person. Keep your heart up, and remain true to who you are. xxx

By: Kat (dollyrouge.ie)

Kat (dollyrouge.ie) — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 12:23:57 +0000

Hi Ann,

It’s so horrible what you’re going through, no one deserves to experience what these people are doing to you. I know it’s hard, and because you’re a sensitive, caring soul this disrespect brings you to a very dark place. I’ve been there too. You can’t understand why anyone would treat someone like this, and might think that maybe there is something wrong with you to deserve this…

But it’s NOT YOU, it’s THEM. If it weren’t you being bullied, it would be another nice, gentle person. They do it because they need the power that comes from putting someone else down to make themselves feel good. And to be honest, someone who needs to hurt others to boost their own self esteem is a pityful, miserable wretch. They shouldn’t be looking down on you. YOU should be looking down on THEM. I promise you, they will never be truly happy.

As horrific as their treatment is of you, as the quote goes “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. If you can work on building up your self-esteem from within, and see their actions for what they are (those of a miserable excuse for a human being), you can rise above it. You’re better than them, as you have respect and compassion for other human beings. Without that, they’re just animals.

Have you ever gone to counselling? If not it could really help. Aware are offering a free CBT life skills program that I’ve heard great things about – http://www.aware.ie/site/comments/life_skills_programme_-_applicants_welcome/

I hope you’re ok Ann. If you ever need to talk to someone who’s been there feel free to email me – kat at dollyrouge dot ie.

By: Ann

Ann — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 23:48:22 +0000

I am so glad to see this blog about bullying in the work place. I am going through a horrible time. Not only were antidepressants prescribed for me but anxiolytics to reduce my stress. I work in the civil service. I have lost weight substantially. People get away with backbiting, indecent comments and isolating others. Management gossip about me to other managers. I got proof of this. I contemplated suicide. Noone speaks to me unless they have to. To be honest they are all a bit weird…. But I’m working at getting out of it and keep myself as positive as I can. But this blog is really comforting. At last it’s being recognised. Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences.

By: Shygirl

Shygirl — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 17:41:34 +0000

Yea the evil cow probably broke their confidence and put them off what they were doing by making them feel useless.

By: Cait

Cait — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 17:16:17 +0000

Thanks ladies! The funny thing is that I still work in the same building but in a completely different role and I couldn’t be happier. I’m not in research anymore though – most of the people who survived her lab went into something completely different afterwards. It’s a shame.