No plans for the weekend, stress has broken me out in psoriasis so I am indoors, no make-up & face slathered in cream to ease the burning sensation!! Using my time to research eye-creams which is giving me a minor migraine

gossipgirl – if I got an invite from a couple I hadn’t seen much of I just wouldn’t go. i wouldn’t be giving a present either. I don’t undersand why you have to give a present when you don’t go. That said I hate weddings.

If you want to go, wear a dress you’ve worn already or borrow one? Unless it’s a black tie wedding there’s no need to buy new stuff, I haven’t bought a new dress for weddings in years and I’ve been to about 23 now at this stage. I recycle outfits and pair different accessories. For the last wedding I did buy a new goldy shrug yoke and a goldy handbag but that was it. And I’ll be wearing them for the next two weddings I have in my diary!

Also don’t worry about a gift if you’re a little short – the etiquette is you have up to one year after the couple marries to give a gift, people still gave us presents months later. Some other guests gave no presents at all and I didn’t care a bit, I recognised times are tough for everyone.

If you don’t want to go though, just RSVP and say you can’t make it and maybe send a nice card wishing them well and hoping htey have a nice day. We got some regrets that just had ‘Mary and John, decline with regret your invitation.’ and that was it. No ‘good luck on the day, hope you have a lovely day’ nothing like that. It was a bit cold and I was a bit disappointed, so if you can’t make it a nice wedding card wishing the couple every happiness will be REALLY appreciated.

The guest list is always a headache so it was probably culled, revised and changed a dozen times. Maybe they have just realised they included the people they had to invite but had cut out people they would like there, and managed to fit in a few last-minute guests like yourself. I’ve been to weddings where the majority of guests are older family & parents friends and very few the same age as the couple who were probably left off the list to make room for the people that “had” to get invited.

I’ve also heard horror stories of couples being let down by their hotel, so it could be possible they had to bring the date forward.

Whatever the reason, don’t feel obligated that you have to go, especially when its so long since you were friends. But if you do want to go, enjoy it!