Eyebrow overplucking: the curse of having lopsided brows

By Lynnie | August 15 2012 | 18 Comments

“Well that was a big waste of time” I said, sinking into a chair beside Himself and his dad. I’d sent them off to watch the men’s 10km Olympic outdoor swim while I’d gone to get my eyebrows threaded, and I wasn’t one bit happy with how the deforestation had turned out.

The problem was that my (very bloody expensive) therapist had politely insisted that one of my brows was skinnier than the other. “We either need to let this line of hair grow back on the left brow” she’d said, gently tracing the offending zone with her fingertip while I looked on in the mirror, “or thread another line of hair from the right brow to even them up.”

I politely disagreed.

From what I could see, she was leaving me with a pair of lopsided brows and while I accept that eyebrows are supposed to be sister rather than identical twins, I felt like mine weren’t even in the same family tree. Still, I decided to nod along, deciding that it would be easier to rectify the situation at home than get into an argument with arguably the city’s finest threader.

The lads were clearly unsure whose side to take.

“That WAGON” Himself said unconvincingly. “Mmm” said his dad.

Never one to leave a pot unstirred, Himself piped up. “Can you see any difference in them, Dad?”

And, like a fecking eejit – or maybe a total stealth ninja on a sleeper mission retaliating to the silver back gorilla crack I made about him two years ago in a national newspaper – his dad took the bait.

“I dunno… I think that one” he said, vaguely gesticulating to the allegedly skinny left brow with an allegedly more pronounced arch, “might have more muscle over it or something..?”

I said something about the pair of them not having a breeze what they were on about (my exact retort escapes me now, but I’m confident that it was witty and withering) and looked forward to deploying my Tweezerman/Harajuku Lovers tweezers to even things out.

It was only when I got home and looked at my brand spanking new passport photo I felt the cold shiver of slow-dawning horror moving along my spine.

OHCHRISTONABIKEWITHABELLANDABASKETONTHEFRONT, I thought. Himself’s dad was fecking right: I had two mismatched hairy squatters on my face.

There are really only two things worse than having lopsided brows. One is your future father-in-law pointing the fact out to you; the other is having it immortalised on your passport.

Needless to say, I’m willing that skinny left eyebrow to grow with all my might. With a bit of luck it’ll have filled out a bit for my next passport pic in 10 years time…

Eyes ,
 

18 Replies to "Eyebrow overplucking: the curse of having lopsided brows"

  • LynnieDoll says:

    Lynnie – a galloping horseman wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, but I know how you feel. I’ve got one thinner than the other and it drives me potty. I’m sure people will be focusing on your beautiful face and eyes anyway. :)

    But as I was told once, eyebrows should always be sisters and not twins, apparently its impossible for them to be identical.

  • Kimberley says:

    They are uneven (to state what you already know), your brows look better as the thinner one in my humble opinion, your eyes look more open, her work dos’nt match her prices :).. If you wanted to grow it out Castor oil is reccomended to help grow your brows hun, rub in tiny amounts as it can cause breakouts if rubbed in too liberally..:) hope this helps.. (P.S im a beauty therapist)xx

  • daisydaisy says:

    They’re fine really – get your eyebrow pencil out and no one will be any the wiser!!!

    I had one eyebrow shorter than the other once, had to let it grow down!!! There is always going to be one different to the other, its impossible to get them identical unless you have someone doing them for you everyday!!!

  • babodpower says:

    I have that problem to with my left eyebrow…it’s thinner than the other but it just won’t grow.The lady who does my brows (who is amazing,nice and inexpensive) groans every time she see’s me coming with “That feckin brow” as she likes to call it..i wish you well with growing it out because i have tried numerous times to grow it and it just won’t seem to happen for me! I find when i get them tinted it evens them out but unfortunately it doesn’t last.

  • MiamiMortimer says:

    Will you g’wan ourra that, you look amazing on your passport picture! I looked at it and made a mental note to opt for the same eye makeup as you have when I’m posing in my next one; it looks incredible! I look like Aileen Wuornos in my current photo(which is, unfortunately, quite recent…dammit).

  • cici bee says:

    I feel your pain!every morning i look in the mirror to see 2 excuses that so want to be my eyebrows,though deep down in the cold hard light for morn its my god damn fault i have to pencil the feckers in and hope they pass as half normal! I keep saying ill persevere and let them grow a bit but i just can’t!its not in me!
    Stay strong!

  • le smurf says:

    It’s actually not that bad Lynnie! Honest! You get away with it coz you iz pretty innit!

  • Annie says:

    Jaysus Lynnie, nevermind the eyebrows – that’s one of the best looking passport pictures I’ve ever seen! I look like I’m about to cry in mine.

  • Makeupglitz says:

    I have this problem I’ve one eyebrow that grows and one that doesn’t needles to say the skinny one won’t fecking grow !!! Been trying to thicken up my brows for the last 3 months my left ones about where I want it to be but the right just won’t play ball grrrrrrrrr :( has no one invented eyebrow transplants yet !!!

  • Lynnie Lynnie says:

    Ah yizzer all very kind! Fivers in the post for everyone!

    Kimberley – in fairness to your one, I plucked the left one to the shape in the pic because I thought they needed evening up after my previous visit, too… DOH! Thanks for the castor oil tip!

    daisydaisy – I might be a tiny bit too lazy to bother with eyebrow pencils ;)

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