Thank feck. Peace at last
HAIR HITLER! screamed the headline in The Sun as news broke about new changes to the work practices of hairdressers throughout the EU.
Which was actually a very funny line. But it couldn’t make up for the deadly serious news that hairdressing practices are set to change. I apologise in advance to all the hairdressers who might read this and I’m sure you’re not personally at fault. But many of your profession are very very annoying
And so the EU have seen fit to legislate against the dire dress codes favoured by many hairdressers and other aspects of their behaviour. To wit:
- No high heels. Flat non slip shoes will be the order of the day
- No rings, watches or other trinkets that might catch in hair and injure clients. These adornments can also result in horrid fungal infections for those whose hands are steeped in water for much of the day.
- A bit like lorry drivers hairdressers will need to take proper breaks. This will ensure they are not suffering psychologically from pruning too many clients in one day and will hopefully cut down on the mad babbling.
To these changes I’d like to add the following suggestions
- Too many trips to the hairdresser have been overshadowed (literally) by the bellytops worn by those who should not be wearing bellytops. A more flattering top that skims the bulges can only be good for everyone’s mental health surely.
- No more inane chatter about holiday plans. Hairdressers will be required to leave clients alone to sit quietly in their chairs and read crappy magazines if that is their choice.
- No more gel nails that scrape the head off you during shampoos
- No more careless burning of clients necks/ears/faces with a boiling hot hairdryer
- Now if they’d only legislate against those cruel hair washing backwards basins – my neck can’t take much more – we’d be away on a hack.