Rihanna told: “get off my land you dirty girl”. Ireland is morto. Mortoooooo

By Aisling | September 28 2011 | 208 Comments

rihanna in northern Ireland

What fecking century are we living in?  Are we living in the Fifteenth Century when the sight of a woman’s arm was liable to cause men to faint with desire?  Or even the Victorian era when the sight of a well-turned ankle was enough to cause a stirring in the male trouser?

In a world where women are not ashamed of their bodies and Rihanna is hailed as a goddess by right thinking people everywhere, we must ask ourselves these questions:

ARE BIKINIS INDECENT?  ARE BRAS THE STUFF OF SATAN?

Well they obviously are to one male member of the DUP in Bangor, who had given permission to Rihanna and her crew to film a vid in his field.  But the second that Rihanna removed the blouse decorously covering her disgusting lady bumps, the farmer Massey Fergussoned into action and ordered her orf his land.

He’d never seen the like, he told Morning Ireland.  At length.  Indecent, he decided.  And backed up his decision by lecturing Rihanna on the need to find God in a tired, world weary way.

The sanctimonious old fart.

Before I’d seen the images of Rihanna in the field (dressed in an almost chaste brassiere) I thought she must have been having full-on sex in the meadow and shooting a porn film or something.  But no.  All she was doing was WALKING AROUND WITH (here’s the kicker) HER SHIRT OPEN.

So I’d like to apologise to you Rihanna.  On behalf of Ireland.

UPDATE: so Rhianna was actually TOPLESS in the field at one stage.  Er, so what?  I’m still covered in shame

Image via the BBC website (yes the shame made the international news.)

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208 Replies to "Rihanna told: “get off my land you dirty girl”. Ireland is morto. Mortoooooo"

  • littlesis says:

    I thought this was funny at the start but now I’m not so sure. This story has gone international and it sheds some bad light on us. I say good on ya Rihanna.

  • Daisydaisy says:

    Apparently she was topless at some stage!!! Obviously this farmer has never heard of Rihanna…lets face it, she’s not exactly a blend into the background kinda girl!!!!

  • atkin says:

    Ah hold on now. She took off her bikini top too, she was topless. Put yer clothes back on!

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/3839236/Ooh-Arr-wheres-yer-bra-Rihanna.html

    rihanna in field

  • le smurf says:

    Hilarious! She’s still a durtburd though! It’s sort of awful when you hear kiddies singing her songs. Bit OTT of Farmer Browne to have a canary over her clothing though!

  • BerG says:

    I think fair play to the man, its about time someone told her to keep her clothes on. Thought it was so funny. He was interviewed yesterday on radio and he expalined that it was a private conversation between himself and rianna, so would not be giving out details.
    Must have been a bit of a shock to her all the same.

  • rois says:

    it was in NI, who cares x

  • Aisling Aisling says:

    Maybe we should do a poll – who agrees with the farmer? But she was shooting a pop video – I doubt the location of the field was going to be mentioned in the credits! The whole situation seems crazy

  • vintagedarling says:

    To be fair to the man, it was his land and he wasn’t comfortable with a girl running around half naked on it. He stood up for what he believes in and as far as I’m aware, he was polite about it. I don’t necessarily agree with his views but I can respect them. RiRi must have been half-frozen anywho!!

  • Aisling Cahill says:

    Keep your clothes on Rihanna! No one needs to see that.
    Fair play to him. It’s his land, and if he disagrees with women objectifying themselves for the sake of stardom and money then of course he should put his money where his mouth is and put a stop to it.

  • Typo Queen says:

    have to say I’m morto for us about the farmer telling her to cover up. But I was watching mtv with my four year old neice right, and then some video for I think it was Alexandra Bourke where she was half naked gyrating all over the shop. And if i hadn’t been with my niece i wouldn’t of noticed but my four year old niece was watching this before 9pm and have to say i was disturbed that she was able to see this. Maybe i’m just an old fuddy duddy! (I’m 29!)

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