Big news: L’Oreal Paris has discovered a fourth dimension!
And in even BIGGER news, they have decided that this CERN-worthy breakthrough should not be something kept under wraps by stuffy science-types who carp about quorks, in order to work out important shizz about the space time continuum and the meaning of life, et cetera.
No no, this truly astonishing and not at all factually dubious discovery – pretty sure humans can’t see into four dimensions – has been channeled into mascara and thusly is available at a chemist near you, now.
Truly, we are so lucky. In fact, I could take the piss a good while longer about the name of L’Oreal Paris Lash Architect 4D Mascara, €16.49, if it wasn’t so bloody good. This is a brand which is well used to talking up its products and while the name of this one is once again on the silly side of things, that’s ok – because 4D is a great lash flatterer.
It arrived as a sample from the brand about a week ago and I’ve been exclusive with it since. This is yer only man for drama, volume, blackness, length and no clumps. While you can put on one or two coats for day, it comes into its own for night and you can layer coat after coat on with no hassles.
That’s exactly what I do, by the way – life is too short to be waiting around for mascara to dry so I get the wand in at the base of my lashes, wiggle it out to the tips, and repeat until I like the effect. My lashes can happily take four or five decent coats of this and look full, fanned out and not remotely clumpy or stumpy at the tips – my absolute pet hate.
This is one of those mascaras I will happily say does do that ‘fase lash effect’ thing and mean it. Too many of them claim it, but I’m looking at a weedy lash fringe in the bathroom mirror wondering if it’s me or the mascara; this delivers.
Speaking of the wand, what’s it like? No fancy fuss here, sir. So, if you think that the effect of a mascara is all down to the wand, then I’m happy to disabuse you with regards to this one – there’s nothing major going on with this set of bristles at all. It seems to suit my round eyes well, though. I get on better with thinner wands than big bog brush affairs, but I’m not averse to a crazy invention by the Wand Wizard (not sure who he is? Oh, you need to read this) and I think the wand on Clinique’s High Lengths mascara is weird but completely wonderful. This is plain, but pretty perfect for what it does.
The gloop’s very definitely where it’s at with this product. It’s quite dry, it’s got vitamin B5 and jojoba for conditioning plus carnauba and rice bran waxes, two types of fibres and an adhesive resin to lay those fibres into place to boot. Fancy, eh?
So, what about those fibres then? Deep black 4mm nylon fellers and transparent ones 1.2mm long are what build the length and volume I’m liking so much. (I was going to say ‘girth’ but I felt dirty and deleted it. Then I told you anyway – oh just call me Hattie Jaques). Do be aware that they could possibly cause irritation to lens-wearers and those with sensitive eyes – I did notice my eyes felt a little scratchy at times while I was trialling this but nothing major. This also promises to be flake-free and I didn’t notice any discernible panda eyes or smudging with it.
Removal has, I know, been a pain for one user who gave me feedback via Twitter and I guess it’s not too surprising given the formula. I oil cleanse so I really never have a problem getting anything off so I’d definitely advocate that method. I’m still working my way down that bottle of Shu Uemura cleansing oil I bought in Liberty last year so I just rub it into lashes until the gunk lifts and then muslin cloth it back off with warm water. That removes absolutely all traces of it – if you’ve tried this mascara and found it hard to shift then give it a go with warm water, you may get better results.
Lash Architect 4D is available now – has anyone else tried it yet?