Comments on: Leave your shame at the door: hospital tales

By: Marie

Marie — Tue, 17 May 2011 18:04:19 +0000

Haha Cara that is priceless!! Surprised how many Crohn’s patients are on here, I have it too and have never really met anyone else with it. Spent hundreds of times in hospital and one time was in a bed next to an old woman with dementia who kept ripping the line out of her arm and screaming at the nurses and doctors that they were all b***ards and she wished they’d burn in hell!! Then she’d turn over to me and say ‘hello darling, how are you feeling’. It was gas!!

By: cara

cara — Tue, 17 May 2011 14:26:00 +0000

These are absolutely hilarious! I woke up from surgery a couple of years back, singing Loosen Up My Buttons and demanding I be brought to the pub. Morto!! I thought I had fallen asleep on my local’s bar counter.

By: BerG

BerG — Tue, 17 May 2011 09:17:18 +0000

After four children, i now warn others heading into hospital, to leave your dignity at the door and pick it up on the way home. You just have to go with the flow, nothing is sacred.

By: sevda

sevda — Mon, 16 May 2011 19:41:28 +0000

Freckles – I know a girl who told the anaesthetist he was a fine bit of gear while is fine once you never see them again but she actuall worked there. She use to run in the opposite direction anytime she saw him after that.

By: Fuffyhead

Fuffyhead — Mon, 16 May 2011 18:49:54 +0000

I had a DVT (blood clot in my calf) which I thought was a strained muscle. I was in terrible pain so I had a quick shower and took myself to A&E. In my haste I decided to do the bare minimum and just shaved the sore leg. Of course the first thing (the bleeding ride of a) doctor asked was for me to take my jeans off altogether to measure them both. Mortified!

The worst part was how obvious it was what I’d done – it would have been better to just have the two stubbly legs!

By: Freckles

Freckles — Mon, 16 May 2011 18:19:33 +0000

O dear, like Simone G, the anesthetic had a strange effect on me causing me to say a lot of things that I normally wouldn’t – calling the doctor a real little cutie like dr. carter in ER (yeap this was a couple of years ago) and asking was he single!!! Ahh, the humilation, just glad that I moved shortly afterwards so hopefully will not end up back in that hospital!

And girls,this is one of the best posts ever! Have had a horrible day and all of your stories have cheered me up no end.

By: Ellen

Ellen — Mon, 16 May 2011 17:41:40 +0000

Ahahahaha these are gas (no pun intended!)

Im just out of hospital. Spent a whole 3 months in there with coeliacs and chrons disease, couldnt hold down a piece of food so had to be fed true a tube -very unpleasant.

..Anyway, one day I overheard these two young MEDICAL DOCTORS talking about how the woman who was overdue had to be seduced! Im sure theyre going to make brilliant doctors! hahaha.

Another time the fire alarm went off and one old man called the nurse thinking it was his monitor beeping! Priceless!

Keep the stories a’comin..

By: Simone G

Simone G — Mon, 16 May 2011 17:20:56 +0000

These stories are fricking hilarious! I have had many hospital experiences but only one of them makes me blush when I think about it.

My appendix “burst” or whatever the medical term for it is when I was living in Spain a couple of years ago. I had never had an op before and found the whole thing rather traumatic. My surgeon was this hot spanish young fella called Jaume and I proceeded to flutter my eyelashes at him (whilst in pain) and behave all ladylike and shy until he put a large chunk of wood underneath me on the bed to make my pelvis press forward during the op, well I let out every curse word I had ever learned. He nearly fainted at what he heard and if that wasn’t bad enough when I came round from the general anasthetic I grabbed him by the arm called him Antonio (?) and told him I loved him and PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME I LOVE YOU!! Screeching this I was, up and down the hallway to recovery room.
When it eventually wore off I wanted to die from shame, he came in to check on me and I couldn’t look at him, I thought he wouldn’t think anything of it but one of the nurses came in to change my drip and said, So your’re in love with our Antonio, I mean Jaume! Bastards!

By: PinkPanther

PinkPanther — Mon, 16 May 2011 16:27:31 +0000

I went to Vincent’s once with really bad lower stomach pains. The doctor didn’t seem to be exactly fluent in English. He told me to lie down so he could ‘tickle my fallopian tube’. I passed out on ths spot from the shock. He thought I’d passed out because of the pain and I was immediatley taken to a bed ahead of what were probably a lot more seriously ill patients. I’ve had confirmation from doctor friends since that that there is no emdical procedure requiring the tickling off allopian tubes. Who knows what he meant!

By: Kitty In The City

Kitty In The City — Mon, 16 May 2011 16:20:01 +0000

Years back I had just split up a guy, it was long distance, he was in NY. He had been a huge baby at birth, 12 pounds, and did some damage to his poor mother’s nether regions. She came up to Dublin to have some re-construction done just after we broke up and I felt duty-bound to go visit as she had been really lovely to me. I was feeling a bit awkward, given the recent break-up. I walked into the room and she says “Howya Kitty, I was just on the phone to Paddy in NY telling him about my new fanny!”. I nearly died. Guess it broke the ice.