I really want to love the new-look Off The Rails, but have to admit I’m still waiting for it to wow me. Even so, the slot about near-blinvisible boob supports on last night’s programme piqued my interest. My wardrobe houses a number of items that, while not wholly indecent, are pretty revealing and do not lend themselves to even multiway or strapless bras. Even as a 32B, those nipple plaster yokes are not an option because they don’t offer a scrap of support and, well, any that I’ve tried feckin’ hurt when it came time to remove them.
So, what are the other options?
Well, there’s tit tape of course (or “fashion emergency tape” as they were so coyly calling it last night), which is basically double-sided sticky tape for skin. Good for keeping very light fabrics in place, this stuff requires careful placement under a seam or a hem or some kind of embellishment because otherwise the smooth unmoving rectangle where your top’s stuck to your chest will give the game away and look a bit crap, too. To me, tit tape is in the same vein as nipple plasters – really only suitable for the most perky of boobles as a bra replacement. You should be able to pick this stuff up very easily (I’ve often seen it beside the tills in the likes of Oasis and River Island) or if you’re doing a spot of online shopping you can get pre-cut strips of Tapeits for €6.75 from HQhair, or €7.95 from Chica in the Westbury Mall in Dublin.
Next up were transparant stick-on things called Liftits, which promise to lift The Ladies by up to 2″ for instant breast perkification. Secure the bottom of the Liftit to the lower curve of your boob, lean forward, hoick it skywards, and then stick on the top of the Liftit to keep those puppies in place. The makers say that these are suitable for up to a D cup, and they look quite a bit smaller and neater than those fabric stick-on bras: they don’t cover the entire boob area or have those Godawful wing-yokes that stick out either side and are totally unsuitable for your halterneck, slightly plunge-front dress. These are €13.50 for a 3-pair pack from HQhair, or €14.95 from Chica.
And what about more buxom babes? Well, a crowd called Faveo produce the Freedom Bra, which consists of two pretty much full-size individual silicon bra cups with hook-and-eye fastened straps across the top of each one. The cups are self-supporting but not sticky: instead, they use “differential compression” to help your boobs defy gravity.
Ye wha’, Gay?
Listen up, kids: “Differential compression works through a band that wraps around each breast individually. The band moulds the breast into shape by applying pressure at different points around the circumference of the base of the breast. The Faveo Freedom Bra has a carefully designed band that is held in place with a unique sticky silicone and is wider at the bottom and around the sides. The band very gently compresses the soft breast tissue at the bottom of the breast more in relation to the top, to create a net upward force and uplift. Pressure is also applied to the sides of each breast, producing gentle moulding forces to create a firmer and more youthfully rounded shape.”