The Time C3PO Gave me a Facial

By | July 23 2008 | 18 Comments


I’m all for therapies that show results. I’ll gladly submit to poking, prodding, wrapping and treatments that are tantamount to torture if I can see results afterwards. I’m definitely not of the school of gentle facials – extractions are my absolute 100% tip of the top favourite part. I’m not averse to microdermabrasion, skin buffing or use of machinery – Guinot’s Hydradermie facials are some of the best hydrating and lifting treatments out there, and they involve electrical currents. You have to be grounded to the bed, and that can be a worry for some. Not me though – bring it on. Likewise, Ole Henriksen’s excellent facials use brushes and vacuum suction, but they combine results with relaxation.

However, after a recent facial, what I do object to, it seems, is being given a treatment that’s almost completely mechanical. And conducted by someone whom, in another life, I was firmly convinced was a rough-housing sanitation worker. The facial started off with me being ordered to lie back. Then I was given out to for picking at a gigantic spot on my chin (well, you know how it is gals – it was colossal, I was merely helping it along).

And then the real fun started.

What felt like an electric toothbrush was taken to my face. It hurt. It actually hurt quite a lot. This went on for some time. Extractions were performed with a horrible hurty tool. Then, oh god, an extremely strong alcohol-based toner was doused over my face. So strong, my eyes watered, and my nose began to run. I got quite worried at this point, as this was possibly the absolute worst thing that could have been put onto sensitised skin, especially after such a harsh brushing. As an aside, I have what I think is a small tendency to rosacea on my cheeks, and I keep a close watch on it. After the treatment, my skin was red-raw and my cheeks are still calming down a couple of weeks later. I’ve had a few of those watery-filled blisters on them since, and I’m praying it doesn’t get any worse.

Once that lovely, calming and delightful step was over, a vitamin complex was added to my skin – by hand, miraculously. It was then mashed in with some sort of heated wand. For about 40 minutes. I lay, silent, praying for it to be over. No neck massage, no hand and arm, no kind words. It was Godawful. Just as I thought it would never end, my ‘therapist’ said, “you are done”, and walked out of the room.

About the only positive thing about this was the laugh I had about it afterwards, and the fact it can never happen to me again – because ladies, you will breathe a collective sigh of relief when I tell you that I had this wondrous treatment in Bulgaria. A beautiful country, yes, with wonderful friendly people too, but perhaps a place that still needs to learn a thing or 3 about proper skincare.

Face, Reviews, Salons & Spas ,

18 Replies to "The Time C3PO Gave me a Facial"

  • Aphrodite says:

    Haha! What a NIGHTMARE!
    God we should do a series – I had makeup done before that HURT, it was so rough

  • Mise says:

    Haha. I once had a manicure done and the manicurist was so rough, she actually broke 2 of my nails! I was lucky to escape with my fingers. :D

  • kiwi says:

    Oooh I had a manicure where the therapist took to my cuticles with a hurty cutty thing and they bled… but THEN she dipped my hands in an alcohol based solution and I nearly went through the roof!

  • Admin says:

    right, I think next week I shall tell you all about the time I had the 2.5 hour auryvedic massage.
    with a man.

  • Aphrodite says:

    Oh do, I nearly wet myself when I heard about that one!

  • Admin says:

    I was telling someone about that recently AND SHE HAD THE EXACT SAME EXPERIENCE!

  • Kitty in the City says:

    I had a manicure in Moscow and she cut my nails straight accross. I said no to a pedicure as I thought she’d probably cut my toenails into a point. Previous to that I’d been massaged with wood-chippings.

  • Admin says:

    why, that sounds delightful Kitty!

    Gals, if you want to send me your awful experiences, I’ll do up a couple of funny posts about them. Let rip:

  • kiwi says:

    WOOD chippings Kitty??!!
    I had my eyebrows waxed by a therapist who somehow managed to drip the wax down the side of my face into my hair…

  • Shin says:

    Kiwi, that’s happened to me too!

  • Shin says:

    I’m going for a Crystal Clear Oxygen Facial tomorrow, I hope it’s not as bad as that!!

  • Kitty in the City says:

    I think the wood chippings were something to do with exfoliation. It was all in Russian, by a big woman with strapping arms. I just lay there!

  • Admin says:

    shin – god no, it’ll be lovely.

  • Townygirl says:

    i had a facial in feb that hurt so much it took two weeks before i could put cream on without it stinging. methinks she was related to your Bulgarian friend Kirstie. it was in westport though!

  • Admin says:

    I just took a depressed look at my skin – it’s still all red and blotchy on my cheeks and so sensitive. I have skin like a rhino and can use anything – not at the moment, I seem to be reacting badly to everything barring aveeno.

  • liitlesis says:

    My god, these stories are both horrifying and hilarious! I have never had anything that hurt.. except a scary brazilian in America.. oh and a pedicure where the woman who was doing it told me she had fleas… yuucccck!

  • Ems says:

    Errr, I though for ages that you always wanted to scream in pain as you were getting your eyelashes tinted..I was of the no pain, no gain mindset….I now see the error of my ways. also had a bikini wax that left me bruised to mid thigh which the ‘therapist’ blamed me for as I flinched in extreme pain…

  • Sarahx says:

    ..i was staying in this fab hotel and decided to visit the salon,biggest mistake and waste of money ever!

    im a beauty therapist,so i tought great time for me to get pampered for a change.what was ment to be this ‘cleopatra experience’ started with the therapist throwing water over me and slapping on some cream-no explanation as to what any of it was or what was going on.a total disaster!!!…give me the beautiful salons in ireland any day!!!

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