The Tale of The Catholic Brazilian

By | June 5 2008 | 25 Comments

nun, brazil

A friend recounted recently a tale of woe at the beauty salon. In she’d gone for a wax job on her nethers, as they needed a tidying, and she’d requested a Brazilian. But what she got, dear readers, was the sort of Brazilian you’d expect Sister Concepta from school to give you. Less landing-strip, and more landing-field, she deemed the result, ‘the Catholic Brazilian’.

Naturally enough, I laughed so hard at her story I thought I’d wet myself, but it did make me think about other salon experiences I’ve had where I’ve come out thinking, ‘eh, did I really ask for that?’, as I scurry out of sight, hoping no one can see the face full of clown makeup, terrible frou-frou blowdry or truly rotten manicure that’s just been inflicted on me.

What about yourselves? What’s been your stand-out terrible beauty experience?

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25 Replies to "The Tale of The Catholic Brazilian"

  • dee says:

    the worst I know of is a friend of mine who went in to get her split ends cut off and came out with a mullet, she says she was so shocked when she looked up from the magazine to see what had happened that she couldnt speak.

  • dossingatwork says:

    i got a manicure in heaven on grafton street and while the end result was fine the way she did it was awful! she yanked my cuticles off without really cutting them properly it was so gross! aaargh still shudder when i remember it!

  • xgirl says:

    I still shudder at the memory of the Stila makeover where they used dark brown gel eyeliner on my EYEBROWS. I looked like a cartoon villain, but at least the husband got a great laugh out of it when I got home…

  • ams says:

    I too have suffered the wrath of the stila MUA’s when one of them inflicted a look that can only be described as Panda Eyes on me. I was mortified walking out of the shop!

    LOL loving the idea of the catholic brazilian!

  • Bumblebee says:

    I had a manicure last week & had a paper cut on my hand. I pointed it out to the therapist and as it was a mini mani with no hand massage, scrub or cream etc she said it was grand as she woudlnt be going near it. But when she was finished she had gotten nail polish remover, protein treatment and polish itself in to it. It is now septic and covered with a plaster. Needless to say, I complained and am having a complimentary treatment next week. I really felt guilty complaining though as she was such a nice girl!

  • Clarence says:

    I was left with 3 or 4 bleeing cuticles after a manicure in Blow a year or two ago .. but typically I said nothing at the time.

  • Poppins says:

    ahthe time i got spray tan and make up done for a wedding and had my hair all tied up and was left with whiter than white ears and behind my ears wre all white

  • liitlesis says:

    Years ago I went to get my hair done for the debs. I have blonde curls which can be styled nicely IF the hairdresser knows what to do… Needless to say this particular girl didn’t and I came out with an afro to rival anyone in the 70s!!
    I had to lie on my hair to try and flatten it…

  • Millie moo says:

    Ha thats so funny a Catholic Brazalian, but can understand as i have had a similar experience before the girl left a big square patch instead of a nice thin strip, i was raging. Had another experience which was the total opposite, went to a different therapist to get a Brazalian done and came out bald not a bit did i have left she was wax happy.
    Just do my own now, at least it will be done the way i want and its cheaper!!!

  • Aphrodite says:

    Oh I have so many of these…

    the time I left the salon with my legs half waxed after pointing out THREE times to the therapist that she’d “missed a bit”. I had to go home and finish them myself

    the time I got my eyebrows waxed on holiday – and ended up looking VERY surprised by everything that happened for the two weeks

    makeup done specially for an evint – that i had to go home and scrub off – it was horrendous

    many many hairdo disasters and gel nails from hell

  • Aphrodite says:

    hehe catholic brazilian though – I’ll tell you the reverse!
    I was in Bali and I asked for a bikini wax – the normal kind. Well apparently they don’t do them there – when I left I had not even a landing strip

  • Polly says:

    I decided to get my eyebrows waxed (instead of my usual tweezer job) at a salon at Dundrum.
    I have dark eyebrows that are quite, ahem, coarse, and the wax wasn’t strong enough to pull the hairs out.
    I was sitting in my car on the way home before I realised just how much was left behind- had to finish it off at home!
    It cost me €17! The girl must have forgot her glasses!
    I suppose I should have had a better inspection before I left the salon… oh well – you live and learn!

  • ams says:

    Have heard scary stories from friends about getting waxed in Thailand alright – lying down with legs propped up against the wall…

  • red mum says:

    Perms, having a mammy as a hairdresser meant as a teenager I would go mad every Friday before going to the local disco, Tu Lips at the Greenanlodge Hotel!

    I had a perm at 13, you know that mid-1980s curly bob, only it looked feckin awful. Thankfully my hair is strange and some of it went straight having fallen out. See even the children of hairdressers have moments.

    I did it again when I was 19, why I did following my earlier experience I’ll never know. All I wanted were soft curls cascading down my back, instead I looked like a rocker, which is fine if thats what you are looking for, but I wasn’t.

    I blowdried it straight for months before it eventually fell out.

    And it turns out the soft cascading curls are achieved with electric rollers!

    Never again.

    I also went recently to have my eyelashes dyed. Being a red head I only want them dark brown, black looks crazy on me. When she finished I looked and went ‘WHAT’ – she had dyed them ginger… No use whatsoever!

    I complained but the fool looked at me like I was mad. ‘They are ginger! You have dyed them their own colour! I asked for a redo but never went back.

    (Sorry I ranted there but you asked :) )

  • Aphrodite says:

    ahaha redmum! I have a friend with curly red hair and she won’t grow it long because she says she looks like a rocker

    a lot of our disasters have to do with wax it seems – there’s a common theme running through everyone’s stories…

    yeah I agree ams – don’t get waxed in asia unless you’re ready for the unexpected!

  • hockeysticks says:

    my sister got waxed in asia … usually with cold wax which was sore but ok .. then she spotted a sign for hot wax so off she trotted — the lady was heating the wax in one of those little oil burners over a candle !!
    the wax got hotter and hotter until eventually it burnt my sister so badly she had blisters .. the lady just said “solly solly verry hot ” .. she was left with a massive burn mark for ages :) :)

  • Kitty in the City says:

    I got a pedicure in Moscow and she cut my toenails into a point. When she offered to do a manicure I said no thanks and legged it.

  • clairebear says:

    I too have received a “catholic wax” in the *local salon* … never again! local salon brazilian = short top and sides”

    I looked down and it was right on the tip of my tongue to say “you’ve never been to Brazil, have you?” but she was such a sweet girl I just left it. Same salon spent over an hour on the worst french pedicure EVER… was picking white polish off my toes for a WEEK!

    Was waxed twice in Nue Blue Eriu, first time I was left with a sideways patch of hair, second time covered in patches of wax, hair and blood!! I also paid in advance for a pedicure but funnily enough never went for it… probably too late to ask for a refund now though!

    On the flipside got a pedicure in Mink in ballsbridge two weeks ago… still not even a chip in the polish im so impressed! :)

  • Scurge says:

    “it was right on the tip of my tongue”. Unfortunate choice of words perhaps?

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